Translation. Region: Russian Federal
Source: Moscow Government – Moscow Government –
An important disclaimer is at the bottom of this article.
School is an important part of every child's life. It's where they not only gain knowledge but also learn how to interact with adults and peers. Pranks, friendships, and arguments are part of social interaction, but sometimes harmless games escalate into bullying. Any child can experience bullying, whether in elementary, middle, or high school.
Bullying is persistent and deliberate psychological violence or physical aggression against a weaker person. It's impossible for a child to cope with it alone; adult support is essential. The head of the City Reconciliation Service at the City Psychological and Pedagogical Center explains how to distinguish bullying from conflicts between children and what parents should do when classmates bully their child. Department of Education and Science of the City of Moscow Anton Konovalov.
How is bullying different from conflict?
Bullying shouldn't be confused with occasional conflicts between kids. A conflict or argument is a spontaneous and unintentional display of emotion, usually short-lived, in which the opponents are equally powerful. In such situations, children can often find a way out on their own: they can let off steam, yell at each other, and then quickly make up.
Conflicts with peers are an inevitable part of growing up, as children explore the world, learn to communicate, and assert their boundaries. They are temporary emotional clashes of interests or disagreements between equal parties. Adults need to explain to children that conflicts happen and teach them how to resolve them constructively. Anton Konovalov, Head of the City Reconciliation Service at the City Psychological and Pedagogical Center of the Moscow Department of Education and Science
It's important for parents not to see every minor argument as a sign of bullying. Avoid starting a conversation with a child, for example, by asking, "Who bullied you at school today?" This can create anxiety and a feeling that everyone around them is inherently hostile.
"Bullying is systematic aggression against one student by another or a group. The perceived victim is unable to resist such behavior—the forces are unequal. One of the hallmarks of bullying is its prolonged nature," the expert notes.
Another clear sign of bullying is the deliberate infliction of pain and harm, as well as devaluation of the individual. The bully and those who support them show no remorse or ask for forgiveness; in their worldview, such behavior is perceived as normal. For example, they may deliberately call a classmate a derogatory name.
More serious and personally traumatic forms of bullying include ostracism, ridicule, humiliation, threats, spreading rumors, damaging backpacks, clothing, and other belongings, kicking, pushing, and physical abuse. Negative emotions are experienced by both the victim and the children who witness the bullying but, for various reasons, are unable to intervene.
Detailed information on how children, parents, and teachers should behave can be found on the project page. Together Against Bullying Moscow's Social Development Complex. The online project is available in the "Mental Health" section of the website. School. Moscow.
How to understand that a child is being bullied
Problems at school can only be identified by maintaining a good and trusting relationship with the child.
"Ask them not only about their academic performance but also about the atmosphere in the classroom. Sometimes a child may not even realize they're being bullied, believing it's their own fault that no one is friends with them. Pay attention to their behavior and relationships with their peers. If they find excuses to skip classes, constantly "lose" things, or don't interact with friends, these could be signs of bullying," says the expert.
It's important not to leave a child alone with this problem, as they don't always have the strength to fight back or ignore the bully. Bullying leaves its mark on a child and has psychological consequences. They may grow up withdrawn, distrustful, and low in self-esteem, becoming accustomed to violence, believing it to be acceptable. They may also become bullies themselves in adult settings, such as at work or in family relationships. It's important to address bullying at its inception, preventing the child from becoming immersed in a traumatic situation.
What to do if your child is being bullied by his peers
Adults should not attempt to resolve conflicts with bullies or their parents on their own—emotional statements in person or arguments in parental chats will only make the situation worse.
"Parents should first contact their homeroom teacher. They know the students' relationships and can positively influence the situation, and if necessary, involve a teacher-psychologist and the school mediation service," says Anton Konovalov.
Today school reconciliation services operate in 497 educational institutions in Moscow. They help build mutual understanding in the classroom, develop positive communication skills, and resolve conflicts and disputes peacefully.
At the School Reconciliation Service, not only school teachers and psychologists but also students over 14 years old volunteer as mediators. Students interested in becoming mediators can contact their school psychologist or the service supervisor at their school. The specialist will refer the teenager to training as a volunteer for the School Reconciliation Service and invite them to join the "Friendship Dialogue" club, which already unites over 200 Moscow schoolchildren.
You can learn more about the work of school reconciliation services on the website city reconciliation service The City Psychological and Pedagogical Center of the Moscow Department of Education and Science will also help resolve the bullying situation. territorial offices City Psychological and Pedagogical Centers are located in all administrative districts of the capital.
"Psychologists and teachers will talk with the student and their parents. If bullying is indeed the case, they will immediately contact the school administration. The principal and the psychological and pedagogical service, including the school for reconciliation, will begin working with the class and individually with those involved in the bullying. If it's a routine conflict, specialists will explain how to resolve such situations and suggest specific exercises, such as those for developing communication skills. You can schedule a consultation with a psychologist through the mos.ru portal," explains Anton Konovalov.
In addition, support can be obtained remotelyby writing to a psychologist in the chat on the website "WeAreNear.online" or by calling the helpline: 7 800 200-01-22 (short number for calls from mobile phones – 124).
What kind of children are bullied?
Anyone can become a target of bullying: a shy, straight-A student, a social activist, a troublemaker, or a struggling student. The same child may feel like an outcast in one school and become part of the community in another.
Aggressors come from a wide variety of backgrounds, as the process of personality development is always multifaceted.
"Parents, society, and personality—all these factors play a role. But all bullies share one thing: a desire for ostentatious superiority and dominance over those who cannot resist them. This behavior is based on perceiving others as objects, tools for personal gain or entertainment. This, from the bully's perspective, justifies cruelty and humiliation," explains Anton Konovalov.
Whether the bullying continues depends on the reaction of the victim, the people around them, and the group in which the situation arose. If the child ignores the teasing, turns it into a joke, or is able to fight back, the bullying gradually subsides. Bullying can also be stopped by a clear negative reaction from the group.
Bullying is an unequal struggle. The bully often enlists the support of allies or bystanders. Classmates may either actively encourage their actions or remain indifferent bystanders, tacitly acquiescing to the aggression.
The best way to prevent bullying is to create a healthy psychological atmosphere within the group. In such an environment, bullying is impossible: the perpetrator will be immediately made aware that such behavior is unacceptable and that problems must be resolved in a different way. The main task is to instill the right values in children, and this responsibility lies with adults—teachers and parents, Anton Konovalov believes.
Should I transfer my child to another school?
Whether to transfer to another class or school, or to stay and try to overcome bullying is always a difficult decision, and it remains with the child's parents or legal guardians.
It's important not only to stop bullying but also to ensure that those who initiate it acknowledge their guilt. Working with psychologists and school reconciliation services often helps bullies repent of their behavior. Only then will the target of the bullying feel safe and be able to mend fences with their former bullies. In such cases, a transfer to another school is usually not necessary.
If the bullying has stopped, but the victim hasn't received any compensation in the form of an apology or compensation, the problem isn't fully resolved. The child will be stressed, anticipating further attacks. Furthermore, building healthy relationships with peers who haven't admitted their guilt is unlikely.
Parents should work with their child through the entire anti-bullying journey. After all, their child may encounter similar situations in adulthood, and their school experience will teach them to maintain self-esteem and stand up for their rights when confronted with conflict.
The City Psychological and Pedagogical Center provides psychological, pedagogical, and social support to children experiencing difficulties mastering basic general educational programs, developing and adapting to society, as well as to children with disabilities. The center employs approximately 800 people, over 500 of whom are support specialists (psychologists, special education teachers, and speech therapists).
The center's branches are located in 10 districts of the capital at 29 locations. More than 25,000 children receive assistance there annually.
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Please note: This information is raw content obtained directly from the source. It represents an accurate account of the source's assertions and does not necessarily reflect the position of MIL-OSI or its clients.
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